Dang, that’s a good looking colon!

May 16, 2008 | Original NSS

Yes, people that is the inside of my actual colon up there. I know, I’ve lost my mind, or maybe the valium hasn’t worn off. Still, I have to tell you that I am so proud of my incredibly wonderful colon in all its healthy glory. In case you haven’t guessed by now, I had a colonoscopy this morning — my second in eight years. My mom died of colon cancer at age 47, so I have made it my mission to avoid her fate. I know I’m eventually going to die of something, but I’ll tell you right here and now, it ain’t going to be colon cancer.

This time around the colonoscopy was not nearly as awful as the first time, when the cleansing process was done through something called “Go lightly,” which is a misnomer if ever there was one. It was a disgusting concoction that caused a violent reaction in me and had me fearing the next time I had to repeat the procedure. I am happy to say that medical advances have improved the whole experience immensely. I’d still rather go out to dinner or a movie, but in the grand scheme of things, a colonoscopy is not that bad any more. A half gallon of Gatorade with a ton of laxative mixed in and you’re through the worst of it.

The procedure is easy since they dope you up so much you don’t remember anything after the part where they tell you to turn on your side. I came home and practically passed out on the couch for three hours to sleep off my stupor. In fact, my instructions say that I cannot drive, operate heavy machinery — or sign any legal documents — for the next 24 hours, and even then only if I’m alert.

So I had to post at least one photo of my colon because I am, as I told Dennis a little while ago, totally empowered by the results of my test. I figure I may have nothing to do with the state of my eyesight or the curliness of my hair or the crookedness of my teeth, but my colon, that’s another story. Maybe all those years of healthy eating — including almost a decade as a vegetarian — have finally paid off. I’m thinking of putting the photo in a locket, so any time I’m having a bad hair day or I’m feeling lousy, I can say, Yeah, I may look like something the cat dragged in, but take a gander at my colon.

On a serious note, if you are over 50 or you have a family history of colon cancer or other colon issues, please, please, please see your doctor and get a colonoscopy. It is not as bad as it sounds, and the worst-case alternative is something you don’t want to consider. I’ve seen what that can do, and it can do it very quickly if you don’t catch it early enough.

So eat right — lots of fiber and leafy greens and good stuff like that — and exercise and see your doctor, and maybe you, too, will end up with a photo like mine.

Here are a couple of links if you want more information: Visit the American Cancer Society site with information on colon cancer prevention by clicking HERE and the National Colorectal Cancer Research Alliance by clicking HERE.


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